Monday, May 27, 2013

It's gunna get a whole lot worse before it gets better

You know those days, when you get up and everything just feels like a battle? You have no motivation, no inspiration and just cant bring yourself to do anything. And then, there are those days where the whole world seems to be against you. Sometimes it feels like you aren't getting anywhere; your stuck in a rut. It's as if nothing is going to change. Those girls are still going to bitch about you and be nasty, their patheticness is going to last forever. That boy, he's never going to like you. Your parents are never going to stop nagging you to clean your room or do some pointless job for you. You're grades are going to be hopeless until you finish school. Those teachers will never understand.

You get the point.

But the truth is, things do get better. They DO change, in the end! There's no way of telling how long its going to be until that day, unfortunately. Yes, most of the times if you think you're in a bad situation things are going to get a whole lot worse before you get better. Especially if it's self inflicted. But you just have to remember they do get better! You are going to be faced with a million battles and hundreds of bad days. But without those bad days, you wouldn't appreciate what a good day feels like! Without having to face those battles, you would live your life unchallenged and probably feel 100% dissatisfied when you are lying on your death bed.

Sometimes you gotta fall before you fly. That's just the way it is. You have to have bad days before you can have good ones. You have to fight battles before you can celebrate the victory. But the most important thing is to remember this: There ARE going to be good days. Things ARE going to change. It DOES get better. That victory IS coming. And most importantly of all, you WILL someday fly.

Sunday, May 26, 2013

Where oh where have I been?

Hello there bloggerinos! I am back! It has been almost two months since my last blog post, and I feel like I most definitely owe you all and explanation as to why I appear to have disappeared off the face of the earth/net!

Well, to cut a long story short a 'friend' who I trusted to the end of the earth and back betrayed me, and told my other friends about this blog, knowing that I had some very personal things on here. She did this purely out of spite, and has hurt me more than words could possibly describe. But hey, that's another post all together! So she told them all, and they went on to have a look. Obviously, there was an anonymous post where I vented about one of the girls a few months back when I was really annoyed, on top of various other little mentions and whatnot.

The group of girls all read this, and decided to confront me about it in a 4 on 1 very intimidating situation. And from that day onwards, they've been making my life hell. In total, there are now 10 girls who they have gotten involved, all of them with absolutely nothing to do with the situation and who have all only heard one (Most probably infatuated to near death) side of the story. And they have decided to make it their little mission to completely ruin me.

Now, I know what I did was wrong. I shouldn't have said stuff like that on somewhere with even the slightest possibility of the person it was about being able to see- it would have been really hurtful for the girl to read that about herself. But, nevertheless- it was months ago. I have been using this blog like a diary, and using it to vent. It is 10000000% anonymous, and I didn't even use real names! I can understand why she would be hurt and angry with me- but she has now went on to get the rest of the girls to fight her battles for her, and they have all turned against me and been hellbent on making my life a misery.

And as for the girl who told them- well she's been one of the worst! Let me first explain- me and the girl who knew about my blog (she also had one herself) were very close. It was always us two against the other two- we would laugh at their ridiculous immature behaviour at times, and were grateful to have each other. We shared jokes about them, and now everything that I have ever said to her on a one to one basis has been reported back to the girls by this girl. She has without a doubt been the most two faced person- and after we were supposedly so close! It has really hurt me, and I sincerely doubt I will be able to trust anyone in the near future! The other girls take the piss out of her so much and just the other day, they put paint all over her self portrait in art. Just one example of that so called 'friendship'!

I will tell you the truth- I'm pretty grateful now that I am out of that group! Whilst I may not be in a close group of friends just yet, it has given me the chance to see (the hard way) What horrible people they are. It wasn't a friendship- they are all permenantly bitching about one another behind each others backs! I think for teenage girls, bitching and gossiping is a given- but not about youre own so called 'best friends!' Also, they are always being mean to people. And that is really not the type of person I want to be!

My life in school over the past three weeks has not been easy. They've been hiding my stuff, laughing at me, saying stuff loudly to try and aggravate me, locking me out of classrooms and every other pathetic immature little trick in the book. But I've got through it! I am not letting them get to me! One time, I snapped at one of the girls and called her a pathetic immature little bitch. But I was so furious- it was either going to be saying that or slapping her!! And I do think I chose the right option!

So, I've been trying to keep my head down and not post anything for a whilst, and have had to change my url :( But for those of you who have found me again, welcome back!! I'm going to carry on posting as usual now, and I really don't give two fucks what they think :)

See you all soon!!!